Monday, March 15, 2010

HOW CORRECT THE ERRORS WE MAKE WHEN SPEAKING IN THE PUBLIC

It's that time of year again! What time? you ask. It's the time of year I celebrate my birthday by doing the same number of push ups that equal the year I'm celebrating. It seemed like a good idea when I turned 30, but I'm guessing I'm going to have to look for a new way to celebrate sometime soon. The challenge this year is to do 40 consecutive push ups. The outlook is bleak.
Because I wasn't sure if I would make 39 push ups last year, I wrote a list of 39 Things I've Learned About Public Speaking.
I don't want to repeat last year's list, so I've come up with a new list... 40 Fatal Public Speaking Mistakes. It's not that the mistakes will kill you, but they will definitely hurt your presentation.
1.) Don't practice. Just wing it and hope everything falls into place.
2.) Drink ice water and dairy products before your presentation. Who doesn't want to produce more phlegm and clear their throat a lot during a speech?
3.) Apologize in advance for being boring/nervous.
4.) Create your slides before you've nailed down your content.
5.) Skip audience analysis.
6.) Tell a lot of irrelevant stories about your kids, spouse, nephews, etc...
7.) Keep walking from one side of the room to the other for the entire presentation.
8.) Try to sound motivational by speaking loudly the entire time.
9.) Insult politicians, businesses, and other easy targets so you can get a quick laugh. Just hope they don't have supporters or employees in the audience.
10.) Dress inappropriately for the event.
11.) Speak quickly so you can get more information into your speech in half the time.
12.) Stand in one spot while rocking back and forth from heel to toe (like a rocking chair).
13.) Stand in one spot while swaying from side to side (like a pendulum).
14.) Start the speech by telling the audience you haven't done this presentation in a long time and will probably get lost along the way.
15.) Use slides that say the exact same thing you're telling the audience.
16.) Keep turning your back to the audience and speaking to the screen.
17.) Don't arrive early to set up your room. Show up a few minutes before and expect everything to be set up perfectly.
18.) If you're using a microphone, skip the sound check. Just ask people if they can hear you when you start your speech.
19.) Start your speech by reading the "Starfish" story from "Chicken Soup for the Soul".
20.) Use a lot of acronyms your audience won't be able to remember.
21.) Use a lot of big words to show off your vocabulary. Who cares if no one knows what you're saying?
22.) If your audience disagrees with you, try to convince them by being extra passionate about your position.
23.) Go over the time you've been given to deliver your speech. This works well just before lunch.
24.) Don't research the statistics you use in your speech. Just assume they're correct because you heard someone else use them.
25.) Steal stories from other speakers and make yourself the main character.
26.) When reading a speech, hold onto the lectern for dear life and don't look up.
27.) Ask the audience to share their deepest feelings with people they're meeting for the first time.
28.) Ignore the mood in the room and jump straight into your presentation. It will show the audience how tuned in you are.
29.) When using statistics, let the audience figure out how those statistics apply to them.
30.) Say "um" a lot so you'll sound more "authentic".
31.) Keep checking your wristwatch every few minutes. The audience will be curious about where you have to be after the speech?
32.) Assume the professor pose (one arm across your body and one hand holding your chin) so no one questions your knowledge.
33.) Give an infomercial on your product or service instead of speech that provides useful information.
34.) Forget vocal variety. Just use the same tone of voice and volume regardless of what you're speaking about.
35.) Start your speech by complaining about the weather, your hotel, breakfast, aches, pains and anything else you can think of. Everyone loves a whiner.
36.) Mispronounce the names of the VIPs in your audience. Better yet, call them a different name altogether!
37.) Since body language is supposed to make up for 55% of your message, use a sparkling smile and huge gestures to cover up your lack of preparation.
38.) Insult people in the audience because they're not as enthusiastic about your topic as you are.
39.) Use examples that are sexist and racist generalizations.
40.) Don't practice. I know this was #1, but it's important enough to repeat again. Failing to prepare for your speech is the most fatal public speaking mistake you can make.
If you want to avoid making the 40 Fatal Public Speaking Mistakes, I suggest you download a free copy of my "Successful Speeches Toolkit". It will give you the inside scoop on how to give a better speech and get better results.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

PUTTING LOVE AHEAD OF FEAR

I was working with a client recently who had longstanding issues surrounding his feelings of security in relationships. He has been married to his wife for almost 7 years and they dated for 2 ½ years prior to that. This is his second marriage. Yet he admits that he finds himself doubting her commitment to their marriage and he takes out his frustrations in 'the meanest ways possible' as a way of seeking her reassurance. He admits that this is now affecting their marriage. His wife feels that he is in need of constant reassurance and feels this is affecting the depth of their relationship. My client related how his first wife had told him after almost 7 years of marriage that she had never really loved him. This had devastated him. He knows that it is not likely to happen to him in his second marriage, but he still has these irrational thoughts.
There are several areas to work with my client. I chose to explore two areas of possibility:
The first was - what you focus on long enough manifests. What you focus on persists! So if he chose to focus on feelings of insecurity and constant need for reassurance, then bingo it would in time become a self fulfilling prophesy! No matter how committed a partner is to their marriage at some point they may begin to doubt that they have the capacity to continue to provide endless messages of reassurance that seem to be falling on 'deaf ears'. They may decide to move on. The marriage breaks up and voila it has happened again!
The second possibility was requesting my client to 'choose where to come from'. As an ontological coach- the basis of my training is that as humans we have the ability to choose where we are coming from in any of our actions. In other words we have a choice as to how we are being in any given situation. There are two ways of being- Love and Fear. At any given point in time we make a conscious choice to come from a place of fear or love.
For the most part, we tend to come from a place of fear when we are contracted and separate from source. This may show up as a reflex 'knee jerk' response to a circumstance. Coming from fear may occur in a variety of situations such as when we are threatened, insecure, outside of our comfort zone, needing to prove that we are right...the list is endless. Fear may be masked as anger, indignation, feeling victimized, violated, wronged, smarter than or even more superior to another person. Fear is what causes wars and prejudice. On a relationship level fear creates a lack of being in relationship; it creates a chasm of separation.
Making a choice to come from love is more powerful. Love encompasses a way of being that is whole and all inclusive; it is not just between couples or partners. Love is expansive, allows for the inclusion of more possibility. Choosing to come from love allows us to connect with our inner essence. When we live from essence we make more authentic choices which create powerful shifts in our lives. By impacting our lives in this way, we create more authentic relationships, more peace in our households and places of work; that translates to our communities and the world at large.
I invited my client to choose from a place of love, my inquiry to him was to look inside when he had those feelings of insecurity and take a look at where they really coming from. Were they really that he felt that his wife was cheating on him? Or were they more fear of being told that he was not loved as had happened in the past? At that moment he could choose to come from love and "Make Love not War".
Create a powerful shift in your life today!

Friday, March 12, 2010

FREE YOURSELF FROM LACK OF CONFIDENCE

Lacking in confidence is greatly related to not believing in your own capabilities.
I have experienced standing in the front of a multitude of people and share my expertise with them.
What is it that leads you to be a person that does not have butterflies when addressing a stranger or a group or a seminar?
It is your knowledge that you posses that nobody can take away from you. This gives you confidence to face any amount of people that want to hear and learn from you.
When you are a leader, you lead and others follow. Truth be told, if you still have butterflies than you are still lacking in something that would take that fear away of making a mistake.
The old saying of practice makes perfect might sound very familiar. Well, you need to keep educating yourself in the field or industry that you are in to be worthy of your own confidence that will come through and establish yourself as a leader.
Confidence is not something that you can be taught, it is something, a feeling inside of knowing that you have the capability of doing something that you are an expert on. It does not mean that you have to be over confident, but confident with a Noble stature that people will notice about you.
A confident person does not try to convince people about their qualifications or skill. Confident people share their knowledge with people that is beneficial to the listener.
There are ten things that you can put to good use that will dramatically have positive results for you and with out further delay, here is the first one.
1. Have the tools of your business with you at all times. When I talk about tools I mean, a informative badge, business card, brochures of your business and a pocket size business card file containing cards of other professionals that you can refer.
2. Set a goal for the amount of people that you are going to meet and the type of people that you intend connecting with. Make sure that you get all their contact details or business card to be able to follow up.
Change the word of goal to promise. Statistics indicate that if you promise yourself to accomplish something you have a 90% chance of making it a reality. Nobody likes to break a promise especially if it is one that you have made to yourself and then tell other people about it so that you can be accountable. This is further motivation that will drive you to take action on your promise.
Make sure that you do not leave the meeting or business function with out reaching your promise.
3. Be a host and not a guest, a guest sits back and relaxes. A host on the other hand help greet people. If you see people that are seated go and introduce yourself. Volunteer to be an ambassador. It is your job to do that and if it is your job to do it then it makes it that much easier to do.
4. If there is one thing that I have learned from Mr. Misner who is a world class speaker it is that a net-worker has two ears and one mouth and a good net-worker uses than proportionately.
After you have listened to what an other person does then tell them what you do very briefly. Be specific, but brief. Be an interviewer during this part of the proses, Ask a lot of questions and get them to open up. They will do the same for you.
5. Never try to close a deal at these type of gatherings. These events are not meant for you to try and hit on business people to buy your product or services. Networking is about developing relationships with others / professionals. When you meet people at these events it should be the start of a relationship not a end to it.
6. Give referrals when ever possible. As I have learned, the best net-workers believe that givers gain. If I help you then you will help me. If you do not genuinely help people that you meet then you are not networking effectively. If you cannot provide somebody with a referral then provide them with information of a upcoming event.
7. Don not forget to exchange business cards. Ask for two, one for yourself and one to pass on to someone else. This sets the stage for networking to take place. If your promise is to meet a certain number of people then do not linger too much with friends and associates.
8. When you have met somebody of interest, spend a couple of minutes with them and arrange an appointment to meet up with them again so you will not spend the entire time just with a couple people or just one person.
9. Record anything useful to remember the person more clearly on the back of their business card. This will come in useful at a later stage.
10. Follow Up! With out the follow up, it renders all the steps as laid out above useless. You need to effectively follow up and deliver on your promises that you have made to your new connections if you promised them something.
Take action and put these key points that will give you the edge into action at your next event or business function and experience positive results in growing your business.
To Your Massive Success!
Your friend in helping you reach your dreams.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

10 REASONS TO BELIEVE THAT YOUR FUTURE IS AS BRIGHT AS THE SUN


Hope for the future is available, but it can sometimes seem hard to come by. It is often said we have our whole life ahead of us. Yet, many people go through difficult seasons in life and question what there is to look forward to.
No matter where you are, hope for the future is available for you to grab onto.
10 Inspiring Reasons to Believe Your Future is Bright:
1. Mistakes in Life Do Not Have the Final Say
If you make mistakes, you can start over. Mistakes are a part of the growing process and learning curve of life. As we start putting our mistakes in the past, our future begins to look bright.
2. You are a Work in Progress
God has promised to keep on working in you and with you. Growing and developing takes time and we should expect continued personal growth in our future.
3. Never Too Young or Old
You are never too young or old to fill your days with meaning and purpose. Consider Moses: He was 80 years old when God called him to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt!
4. Every Day is a New Day
Each day is new and fresh. You can make the most of each one. If we've fallen short today, we can look forward to a new day tomorrow. Thank God that His grace and mercy is new every day. (Lamentations 3:21-23)
5. You are Never Alone
God said He would never leave you or abandon you. (Hebrews 13:5) People may leave us, but God will not. The future is bright knowing God is in it.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Spirit." -- Romans 15:13
6. God Loves YouGod loves you unconditionally! God loves you just the way you are. But like the saying goes, He also loves you too much to leave you the way you are.
7. You Have a Purpose in Life
God created you with a purpose and you can discover it. We have all been given unique gifts and talents that help us fulfill our purpose. Discovering our purpose and living it makes the future bright not only for us, but also those around us.
8. God Shall Supply All Your Needs
God will take care of your needs as you seek and obey His Word. (Philippians 4:19) "The Lord is my portion, says my soul: therefore will I hope in Him." - Lamentations 3:24
9. Mansions in Heaven
God has created a wondrous place in heaven for His children. We have hope that after our life on earth we graduate to eternal life in heaven. "In My Father's house are many mansions... I go to prepare a place for you." - John 14:2
10. Guidance from the Most High God
If we trust, rely on, and acknowledge God, He will direct our life. The God that created the universe is available to help guide our life. "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:6
Hope for the future may have faded for you. You may feel like you are in a prison and have no future. But no matter where you are, God has promised to bless you with a future filled with hope and success, not suffering. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Do yourself a favor: Have hope and believe your future is bright. Let the truth of God's love set you free. God is a miracle-working God. He does not punish us all our life for our mistakes. He wants us to look forward and not backward. Put your hope and trust in God and allow Him to be an active part of your life.
May your hope be strong, your future bright, and your life full of growing prosperity!
And now, get a Free life changing "How to Attract Prosperity" download. Plus enjoy Christian and Self-Improvement Resources along with Motivational Videos and a Meditation Podcast.

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR CHANCES OF FINDING LOVE

While many more people these days remain single - and happily so - it can be disheartening to be on your own if you very much enjoy being half of a couple. But by examining your behaviour and habits you can better your chances of finding a meaningful relationship.
The worse your previous break up and the longer you remain single, the harder it can be to find love. This is because it can be easy to get into a cycle of thinking negatively about yourself. For instance, if you were dumped by the person you thought was the love of your life people can often blame themselves for being unlovable and not good enough for their partner. Or if you have been single for months or years this can sometimes lead to labelling yourself as 'unlucky in love'. Both of these can be self fulfilling prophecies - the first because low self esteem, while common, is not the most attractive trait and the second because you are less likely to put effort into a potential relationship you may assume is doomed from the start.
While it is not a good idea to try and project a false impression of yourself to new acquaintances, it is beneficial to finding love if you make an effort to think positively and present your best side. Your ideal man or woman may never get to see your good traits if their only impression of you is someone stressed, distracted and consumed by an overly busy schedule.
You should also look at your routine and social habits if you have been unhappily single for a while. The majority of couples meet either in a work environment or close to their home. So if you haven't met your ideal partner you may need to consider moving outside your comfort zone. As we get older, we tend to fall into patterns and routines - socialising with the same friends, frequenting the same venues on the same nights of the week, etc. Try eating and drinking in different places and expanding your group of friends and acquaintances. A good way to meet new people are groups and evening classes. Even if you don't meet a potential partner there you could strike a friendship with the person who will one day introduce you to your future spouse.

HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT GUY

 Dear reader,
Many single women are trying to find a nice guy that they can share their lives with. Single men are all around us every day but we are too busy to notice them. Like single women, single men are a bit apprehensive about making the first move. So it is up to us to make ourselves more open and inviting.
1. One of the best places to meet single guys is in church. Ladies try attending church more often and participate in the social events. There are many single guys there who are looking to find someone special to share their lives with.
2. You can find single guys all over your campus/universities. They may be going back to school for a second degree or finishing up their education. You can start up a conversation by asking them what classes they are taking. If you are taking the same class, create a study group and invite them to join or ask them to help you study for a test.
3. Joining the Gym is also a great way to meet single guys. Many singles guys join the gym to keep themselves in shape and meet like minded people. You can start up a conversation by asking them about their workout routine and paying them a nice complement on their bodies. A little bit of flattery will goes a long way.
4. Another place to find single guys is at your job. While it can be a bit taboo to date someone that you work with, the work place is the best place to meet single guys. Instead of just spending a few hours on a date, you get the advantage of spending at least eight hours a day together, which allow you to get to know them better.
5. Join an on-line dating, forum or match making site Many on-line dating sites have seen a positive trend in their clientele. Both men and women are finding it much easier to strike up a conversation on-line instead of in person.
6. Go shopping at your local computer, electronic or book store. Younger men love to shop for the latest gadgets like iPod and iPhones, while men in the thirties and forties still enjoy reading a good book. Strike up a conversation by asking them a question about the latest gadget.
7. If you are into a particular sport such as tennis or running, then you should join your local tennis or running club. It is a great place to meet single guys that share similar interest as you do.
Some this tips if not all has work for millions of people yours won't be an exception..

Thursday, March 4, 2010

BLOG TO WEALTH

 Dear reader,
Having a blog for your small business is one of the best ways to keep in contact with your current clients and help you to draw in new client. However, if you are a beginner i.e you are just getting started with your blog, you are probably struggling with how to keep your blog constantly updated with fresh content. Too many business owners make the mistake of blogging once every few weeks and thus lose the opportunity to be a relevant and timely source of information for your readers.
To help you keep on top of your blogging for your business, here are 2 strategies you can use to make sure your blog always has new content:
1.Create An Editorial Calendar
Sometimes the hardest part about blogging is coming up with the topics. The biggest mistake you can make is to sit down at your desk and realize you have absolutely nothing to write about. To prevent this from happening, sit down for an hour with a calendar and come up with topics you know you could cover. Get as specific as possible including coming up with your titles.
The more information you have available when you sit down the write, the easier it will be to get the blog post written.
2.Be Active In Social MediaThere are innumerable benefits to websites like Twitter and Facebook. One of the most exciting benefits of these sites is that they make it easy to keep up with the latest news in your niche and the world. Whenever something newsworthy starts to surface, it's your job as a blogger to give your own spin on that topic. Writing commentaries on these events has strong search engine benefits to make it easy for your site to be found online.
Also, it shows your readers that you know what's going on in the world and that you are a source of up to date information.
Bonus Tip: Combining these three tactics together will help you come up with endless ideas for what you can write about. Make sure to add all ideas you come up with to an editorial calendar and set yourself reminders to meet your deadlines.

Continue this process on a consistent basis and your blog will never become stale.
And to get started increasing your web visibility, I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to our 17 Ways To Get Found Online Whitepaper.
this has been working for people, so i believe it will surly work for you.......
Don't stop until you fulfil your destiny.Goodluck